Wednesday, June 19, 2013


A few months ago I was angry at someone. I mean angry enough to avoid this person for a few days. This person had no idea I was angry and that is the way it had to be. What? That seems backwards. I'm not suppose to stuff my emotions, and I'm not suppose to let the sun go down on my anger, but I did. And like I said, I had to.

I was angry because God placed something on my heart, something really important. I shared it, and then this person jumped on it and ran with it, in a different direction. Get why I was angry? I prayed about it and asked advice and the answer was, "let it go, I've got this." Yup, that was what God was trying to tell me. He had it. He gave me the idea and His purposes will be fulfilled no matter who tries to pick them up and run with them in another direction.

So I let the anger go and I went in the other direction too. I knew God wanted me to. I knew He wanted to do some stuff in me, like trusting Him that He had it, and more. At first, it was hard, and I won't deny that. Over time though I found that the direction this person went in was helping me, and soon I forgot I was even mad about it.

Then, surprise!

The direction came to an end. I let God deal with some stuff in me, some relationships were deepened, and I was able to see this direction wasn't "bad" and served a purpose. Like I said, the direction ended. Then I heard the words coming from a different person's mouth, the same words that God had given to me a few months ago. I couldn't help smiling as I realized He did indeed have it.

Even so, it wasn't as readily received as I wanted it to be. I kind of held my breath as God reminded me that He had it and to be silent. So I was. Not a day later, the same words were coming out of a different person's mouth, and I felt God say "now." I said something, nothing profound or earth shattering. Nothing that made light bulbs go off over people's heads or anything, but just the right words. Then the person who ran in the other direction was agreeing with us. I almost did a Holy Ghost jig, for all my Pentecostal friends. I did smile and heard very clearly, "Didn't I tell you, I've got this?"


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Speaking No Matter What

When I finish a book Bible I ask God what He wants me to read next. I recently finished Matthew and asked the question. Before I had the question out of my mouth I heard "Ezekiel". Honestly, I didn't love the answer so I rephrased the question. "God, since I've finished this book what other book should I...." "Ezekiel" came the answer again. So I tried a third time, "if no other book is the answer it will come to me. I'll just wait." Crickets! Big sigh, "okay, Ezekiel it is."

Now, there is nothing wrong with the book, but I really wanted Him to tell me to read a good history book instead. So I started reading it and it wasn't long before God spoke to me through it. In chapter 2 I read, "Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. And you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear, for they are a rebellious house." (verses 5-7)

God was sending Ezekiel to speak to the rebellious people of Judah. God knew that they would be hardhearted and wouldn't listen. God still sends people speak to others, speak the Truth, and He knows that they will not listen. I reread these verses, actually the chapter, because I really felt that God was talking to me.

This book is named Even If My Voice Shakes for a reason. God has asked me to speak the words that He has given to me, to share the lessons that He has taught me. He doesn't want me to stop speaking because the readers decide they don't like what I'm saying and stop reading. He doesn't want me to stop because it is something hard and it makes me anxious and even fearful to share. He is calling me to speak the Truth, regardless of the reader's response. God doesn't stop speaking because people don't want to hear the Truth.  He speaks and gives us the chance, sometimes many chances, to hear and turn away from the wrong path and hardness of heart that keeps us from Him. I have to be obedient and share what He tells me to.

I am not saying that everything that I think or say is from God. It certainly isn't, yet when I know He is speaking then I need to speak His Word.