What?
Of course, we should ask for God's will! How can that possibly be a bad thing? Let me explain.
I am guilty of praying for big things, doubting and being fearful, and since my lack of faith says it probably won't happen anyway I throw on a "if it's Your will" to seal the doubt deal. I use it more to declare defeat than to really seek His will in the situation.
I can't be the only one who does that! Can I? Please, tell me others use religiosity to lie to themselves that they have faith in His will, but really they don't.
Yesterday, I was driving to work praying a couple of big prayers. One in particular is truly an area in my life that I want something big to happen. Some thing I believe that is good. Some thing that matches my heart's desire, maybe in a completely unexpected way. But the closer I got to work and the end of my prayer time, I started to doubt and threw out the "if it's Your will" phrase to cover myself, with an emphasis on the if.
If it's not His will then what can I lose? I won't invest too much of me and my heart if it's not His will. It keeps me safe from moving out of the familiar and into a brave new place. It means no stretching. It means plopping right down in the same place I've lived for most of my life. My comfortable, all be lonely, place. Part of me actually hopes it's not His will every time I utter those words! Oh how "safe" I'd be then.
Safe but sad. Comfortable but longing. Familiar but unfulfilled. Stuck and unmovable. Fearful. Lonely. Not safe or comfortable when I really think about it.
Yesterday after my "if it's Your will" prayer, a line from a song playing on my radio grabbed my attention. "Gotta pray, gotta press on to the prize worth fighting for" I kinda felt like God throw His own line right back at me. The proverbial ball was in my court. How would I respond?
I responded with, "yes God! This is a prize worth fighting for! This is a prize worth believing in. It's worth crying out to You over it. It is worth steps of faith. It is worth discomfort. It is worth allowing You to make it happen and not try to move mountains myself. (Anyone else try to move mountains only He can move? Or worse, ones that weren't mine to be moved at all? I am!) It's worth continuing to believe that I just need to be still and watch You work to make it happen.
Looking at Jesus as the example. He did pray, "if it is Your will remove this cup from" but He didn't stop there. "Nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done." Jesus knew His death would be full of physical pain that no man should have to endure. He also knew that it our sin would separate Him from God until His resurrection. None of us can comprehend what that separation would be like. Of course, He ask to have it removed! But He embraced all of it because He loves us.
So can I embrace His will even though my faith is small and my fear is big? Yes. Even though it will be very different from my normal? Yes. Even though it will be uncomfortable, stretching, and possibly messy? Yes, yes, and yes.
This morning, as I drove to work and continued my big prayer, I came to the usual "if it be Your will" point and it was a struggle. It really was, not to say it once again. I forced myself to say "Your will be done" instead. It was hard, but after wards I felt such joy. I know it'll take awhile and some serious effort to break my lack of faith habit and prayer with boldness for His will to be done.
Note - The song is by Jamie Kimmett and is titled "The Prize Worth Fighting For" This song is about Jesus being our reward, but God can use a line in a song any way that He wants to.
