Friday, April 18, 2014

Vision of the Battle

Last night I laid in bed with an anxious heart. I knew that if I didn't give that anxiousness to God I would have a second sleepless night. I do not claim that giving things to God is easy, because it's not, but last night I gave it to Him. I did that knowing full well I would probably need to give it to Him again and again until I finally didn't take it back anymore. Once again, giving it to Him isn't easy and sometimes we take it back and have to give it back again.

Back to last night, as I lay there feeling the freedom of giving it to Him, I prayed for a restful sleep. I prayed that His angels would surround me and I would sleep peacefully. I started to feel drowsy and then I saw something amazing! I do not expect some of you to believe this, but it isn't the first vision I have had. It isn't the first vision into the spirit realm that I have experienced.

I was looking towards my French doors, and even though the curtains were drawn, they were open and I could see a battle taking place. I saw the forces of darkness fighting to get in and the forces of Light keeping them out. I only glimpsed a short portion of the battle, I could tell it started beforehand and I did not see the end. In that glimpse I saw what seemed like fast motion action, but at times the motions slowed to barely moving. I saw swords slice through the air and hammers fly towards their intended targets. I saw red flashes whenever the weapons of the two sides met. I saw that the battle was being won by the angels.Then the vision was gone and I was looking at the closed curtains.

As the battle faded from my view, I smiled and thanked God for showing it to me and showing me that He cares for me. That He cares for my rest. He could have simply let me fall asleep and sleep well, which I did, but He chose to show me that He was protecting my sleep. He chose to show me that His angels were battling for me. For me! That is an overwhelming thought. That is an overwhelming love. His is an overwhelming love.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A Lesson from Cleo

Last night I laid in bed and could not sleep. I was tired but my mind just couldn't rest. I tried desperately to shut it off and just sleep, but that didn't work. I sat up and found a straight line of three cats snuggled up on my right side and one cat snuggled up on my left side. She woke up and looked at me, while the others gave me an eye pop and then went back to sleep. I looked at my sweet Cleo, who at times can be anything but sweet, and told her I was getting up. I crawled out of the covers so I wouldn't disturb them and went into the living room. I sat on the couch and said "here I am, please speak to me!" I was meet with silence.

So I started to talk to Him instead. This woke up Riley and she came out to get petted and then wanted out. Following her came Cleo. Cleo came over and started kneading me, which hurts by the way. I tried to ignore her but she was making it hard to. She was walking all over me, purring and rubbing on me. I finally looked at her and said, "why can't I just be like Cleo? Why can't I just come to You and let You love on me?" I set the journal and Bible I had in my lap aside and let her climb in and lay down. She snuggled right in, purred away and took joy in being petted. How I wished that I could be like her!

Now Cleo is a bit of a meany. She has no problem letting one of my other cats know that she wants the space their in or that the five feet that they are walking passed her is too close. Yet she can also curl up with one of them and lick their head. She can snuggle up and sleep by them, when she wants to. But last night, she was all about loving on me and being loved on.

Cleo did stay on my lap for quite a long time, but then just got down and went back to her spot on the bed. Riley finally knocked on the door to come in, she loves staying outside for a long time at night. I decided to crawl into bed and give it a try. I wiggled my way back in between the three sleeping cats on the right and Cleo on the left.

I wish I could say that I just curled up in God's lap and let Him love me, but I didn't. I tried to, but I was angry with Him and wasn't ready not to be. I'm still angry with Him and angry with me and feeling all jumbled up inside. I wish I could say I stopped wrestling and had a good nights sleep but I didn't. I hardly sleep at all. I don't even know why I am writing this post! I just knew I had to.