In His Hands

Yesterday morning I was sitting at my vanity getting ready for work and listening to a group of women discussing trusting God on a YouTube video. Trusting God is not an easy one for me, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one who struggles with trusting Him. But as these women spoke one of them said something that struck me. I stopped putting on my makeup and prayed for someone in line with what she had said. I'd share what she said, but I honestly don't remember what it was. 

As I prayed I was given the most amazing visual by God. I saw this person in God's hands. As I continued to pray and talked with God about keeping this person even as the choices may or may not be for his good. I asked God to keep him even as he tried to do things his way. This is when the image of God's hands became truly amazing. I saw this person running towards the edge of God's hands and instead of falling off His hands grow. They didn't shift, like I would have expect them to, they actually grew. The person in His hands ran along the edge but the hands just got bigger and bigger. I realized that He was safe in God's hands.

I understood that God keeps us not by cupping us between His hands, like a caught creature in some small boy's hands. If that was how He held us we would panic and want out. We wouldn't see Him as Savior but rather Captor. And once He'd open them, just a little bit to peek at us, we would make a run for it. God doesn't hold us like that. His hands are cupped wide open like a bowl. He lets us ran around in the freedom of His hands. When we need cradling His hands shrink to hold us close. When we need the freedom to explore choices, maybe even bad ones, His hands grow large enough for us to explore but still be safe and secure. Being held in God's hands doesn't mean stifled and caught, it means freedom, love, security. It means knowing that even if I try to run away from God His hands are large enough to keep me safe from my own bad choices. 

I know I can't do what God showed me justice but I hope I helped you see His hands differently. 

Let Those Words Sink In

 "And all were astonished at the majesty of God. But while they were all marveling at everything He was doing, Jesus said to his disciples, 'Let these words sink into your ears: The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men.' But they did not understand this saying, and it was concealed from them, so that they might not perceive it. And they were afraid to ask Him about this saying." Luke 9:43-45 ESV

What struck me while reading these three verses was, "how often does God speak to me, but I don't understand it? How often do I not understand because of the limits of my human brain and how often is it because I'm not spiritually ready to perceive it yet?"

I love that Jesus told them to let the words sink in. Have you ever been asked or asked someone else "did it finally sink in?" when there's a lightbulb moment? All the gears are turning and the pieces are fitting in and you just get it. Sometimes it's a quick figuring-it-out and sometimes it takes years before you see everything for what it actually means. But His saying to them to let it sink in gives me hope that His words will sink in for me too. 

I've heard so many messages preached about how slow the disciples were or dumb the Israelites were, but how am I an quicker, any brighter? Really, I'm not. God still speaks. He speaks through His Word. He speaks through His creation, whether that be man, beast, seasons, sunshine, whatever. He's revealed to me personally about my own stubborn nature through my cats and dogs. Nothing like thinking your smarter than an animal until you realize your own foolish actions while watching theirs. Humbling, if you let it be. 

Often He tells me things but I don't get. I beat myself up for it.  And just like the disciples, I'm too afraid to ask. But who am I to think that somehow I would get what God is trying to say any better or more quickly than the 12 men who spend almost every moment over 3 years with Jesus? They were as close as brothers and yet there were plenty of times that they didn't understand. God opened the eyes and ears of them at the right time. 

I recently had a text conversation with a fellow teacher in which the other person wrote, "...you would think after all these years following Jesus I would learn...". My reply was meant to be funny but afterwards I really thought about how true it is. "....we are hard headed sometimes and need remediation". As a teacher, I can't just teach it again the exact same way or I'll end up with the exact same puzzled faces looking at me. And there are times when I have to realize it doesn't matter how many different ways I teach it if the child or children aren't at a developmental level yet to perceive it. 

How often does God need to adjust the lesson in order to try to help me figure it out? How often does He word it differently? But how often does He not say it again because even though I've heard it I'm not at a spiritual developmental level to understand it yet? 

We try to make it sound like it's easy by saying things like "He speaks and all I have to listen." Yes, but sometimes He speaks and even though I've listened I'm not going to get it...yet. As someone who beats myself up for not getting it, for not understanding, for needing some remediation, it's nice to know sometimes it's not a matter of not hearing God, but rather not being ready to understand the true meaning or impact of His words yet. He still speaks. He also still prepares us to perceive what He previously said.

So keep listening, because He's still talking. And keep asking for spiritual maturity to understand. But fair warning spiritual maturity only comes from emotional, physical, and/or spiritual growing pains. But when we can perceive what he's saying all those growing pains become worth it.