I used to blog a lot, and some of the posts were really open, really raw. Not that the others weren't, but when I wrote some of them I felt like I was opening up my heart and pouring it out through the keyboard. This might be one of those posts.
When I was ten years-old I realized the desire of my heart. I wanted a family, a husband and children. Most of my life I had an absent father. I wanted something more. I wanted a man who would love me and a house full of children to love on. That desire has never gone away. There have been times, many of them, when I felt hopeless though. The years have gone by and I've been disappointed. I've been sure that it wouldn't happen more than I've been hopeful that it will. Yesterday, a hopeful day, I thought about the kind of man I want to marry. He needs to be my Boaz. He needs to see the value in me. He needs to spread himself over me and protect me. He needs to cherish me. He needs to be the father of my children.
As I longed for my Boaz, I came to the realization that I need to be his Ruth. I need to be willing to do the menial hard work to help those in my life, those that depend on me. I need to be willing to step out and risk rejection. I need to be willing to honor him. I need to be the mother to his children. I need to become his Ruth.
Ruth suffered loss. She journeyed long to get away her old life to find her new one. She rejected the gods of her people. She toiled over back breaking work with little reward. She reached out and risked being rejected. She took a chance. She accepted an amazing gift. She loved her family. She loved her husband. She became a mother.
As God showed this to me, I cried. I cried and asked Him to help me become my Boaz's Ruth. I also prayed that He would make him my Boaz. My heart desires this. I have no idea how much longer this journey will be. I have no idea how hard the work will be. But I know that as scary as it is, frankly terrifying that it is, I want my Boaz and I want to be his Ruth.
