I confess that I tend to listen more intently to voices of others about who I am more than God's voice. I listen to my own voice about who I am more so than God's voice. I listen to satan's voice more than God's.
I also know that I am not alone.
In the last couple of weeks I have been asking God to show me who I am in Him. Each day, when I journal I focus on one positive thing that is true about me. Sometimes that comes from what I already believe about me and other times I believe that God tells me what it is. It has been one of the best parts of my day.
I can admit that at first it felt uncomfortable. It was hard to come up with something. It felt self-centered. As I have spend more time listening to Him tell me who I am it has become more of a joy. The other day He told me to make a list of positives about myself. At first it was hard, I used some of the previous things written to get me started. The list is a good length, not too short and not too long. Some of the things I would have not thought of myself so I know that they came from God. I now can use that list to write the daily thing that God says about me.
Not only can I write about it, but I can thank Him for making it true about me. If God says it is true about me then it is part of me because He made it so. If my focus become just about the positive truth about me then it will be easy for the focus to be on "me". That is not the point. I don't want to focus on who I think I am, but who He says I am, and thank Him for it.
Of course, that doesn't stop the other voices. It doesn't stop satan from speaking untruths to me or shouting the negatives about me so loudly that's all I hear. Yes, I know there are negatives, and I ask God to help me overcome those, and He will in the right time and way. I can focus on those negatives if I choose to listen to them. Sometimes I do listen. I start to feel down about myself. Then the realization comes that God's voice doesn't make me feel like that, even when He is dealing with a real problem area in me. With that realization I can take authority over satan's voice, in Jesus' name.
Sometimes it's easier to realize satan's voice than the other voices. One of those other voices are mine. I have talked to myself my whole life, and I haven't always said very nice things to me. Sometimes I have told myself that I am things, good things, that I am not. They may be things I want to be but trying to be something that I'm not is a lie. Living as someone that God hasn't created me to be is not what I want to do.
The other voices are from family, friends, co-workers, and just about anyone else. Sometimes the things that others say about me are true. Sometimes they aren't. Sometimes the things people say about me are really nice, and I would love for them to be true. As nice as those things may be, if they aren't true about the real me, the me God created, than I can't focus on them. There are many positive words that I may want to be, but I understand that not all of them are true about me. They can be, if God wants to develop them in me, but I can't force them to be true.
As bad as it is to believe a positive about me that isn't really me, it is far more damaging to believe a negative thing about me that isn't true. As a child we recited the rhyme "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me". That is one of the worst lies that has ever been spoken. Words can kill the real me. Words that are not true or even if true are, but not said in love, damage me. When words are spoken to me by others I have to take them to God, and ask Him if they are true. If they are negative, and yet still true, then I need to leave that at His feet and ask Him to work on me so they longer are true. He will, but it might not be time to do that. He knows exactly when it is time to work out the negatives and replace them with the positives.
I can try to live in a fantasy world where only positive words are true about me, but I live in the real world. I also live in the loving hands of God who helps me know and believe the positives about me. He also loves me enough to work on the negatives and to remove them and replace them with the positives of who He has created me to be. I am a work in progress. I am learning to give Him the negatives so He can transform me. I am also learning to focus on the positives of who God says that I am.
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