Last night I was laying on my bed and reflecting on who Jesus has been to me. It wasn't long before I was starting to tear up. Then a particular Bible story was brought to mind, and He showed me how an instance in my life was similar. Maybe I should say more similar in his response than in the actual instance.
The story was of the woman thrown down at the feet of Jesus for condemnation and ultimately death. She was caught in the adultery bed, and deserved, under the Law, to be stoned for it. He did not condemn her though and told her to, "Go and sin no more." Like I said, my instance was not the same, but His response was. Something happened at a gathering I was at, and I walked out. Now I'm not saying I made the right decision in that situation, but later I was "dragged" in front of this group and condemned by some. Not all. I want to stress that, it was not by all, but some.
I can't begin to say how it felt! But I can tell you what Jesus told me last night. He said that He never condemned me! Others may have, but He never did. Yes, I didn't handle it well, but I didn't deserve the verbal stones of condemnation. Under Law and Rules those stones would be required to make others feel that they have done their part of upholding the rigidness of the Law. He simply said to me, "Go and don't do it anymore." And, "I will always be with you!"
I felt the amazing love of Christ wash over me as I truly saw Him in the situation. He was quiet while the voices accused, but after they had their say, He stood up and let me know He did not accuse and He did forgive. I know I am not doing last night's experience of revelation and love justice, but I knew I needed to share.
God has shown me so much about who He is through a time in my life that honestly was more hurtful and yet healing than any other time in my life. Those who really know me know that is saying a lot. Much of that time is still between me and Him. Some of it is between a very select few and myself. There have been times I wanted to share what I learned, but God has said, "now is not the time." I'm not sure when or even if the right time will come, but I can say the time since has been amazing. I have experienced the joy of some deep wound-healing; a peace that I can't describe; and a deeper discernment. Because of that discernment, my eyes now see more clearly the pain of others that have and are experiencing poor, and even unjust treatment. I also have seen more clearly the Truth and the lies that wish to distort the Truth. Most importantly, I have come to see the Real Jesus. The One who loves me, but doesn't just look passed my selfishness, my lack of focus on Him, and my thoughtlessness. He loves me, will always be with me, and expects me to take what He has taught me to help others. That is the true reason I learn from our hurts, mistakes, and failures. It isn't just about me, but about allowing Him shine through the my hurts and healings.
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