How Can a Football Game Cause Fear?

I grew up in one of those small Upstate New York towns where during football season most people went to the games. Unlike many high schools, there were no lights so home games were played on Saturdays. The home side had no stands, but rather a hill that fans camped out on or moved up and down the field with the play. I enjoyed going to home games and going on occasions to Friday night games when they played a local town. I liked watching football on TV. I had a favorite team, still do. 

This past Friday, I planned to go to a high school game. I got ready and waited until it was time to go, but as I waited fear grew within me. I often do many things by myself including go to games. My close friends are not "go to Friday night high school football game" friends, so I planned to go alone. I'd rather go with others but I'm okay with going alone. Yet, as I waited I dreaded the idea of possibly sitting among people I didn't know or didn't know well. I let the fear of being alone in the midst of a crowd eat at me. 

It was cluster night, which meant that the elementary schools and the middle school that feed into the high school would have students and staff there to represent. My last school is in this cluster. Although there are many that I would love to see, there are a few I would gladly never see again in this lifetime. I let fear of seeing them crowd my mind and heighten my anxiety. 

As the time to leave for the game came I busied myself with something tedious and let the time pass. I let fear win. I forgo doing something I enjoy because of fear. Why do I continue to let fear win battles? 

When I was younger, I thought the Israelites were so foolish. That was how they were presented in church, as people who were foolish and that we were somehow wiser than them. We would shake our heads at the silly choices of them. How could anyone linger in a desert for 40 years instead of entering the Promised Land? How could they fear the people there, when the Lord had already parted an entire sea for them to cross over and on dry land no less? He wiped out their enemy who sought to destroy them right before their eyes as the walls of water came crushing down upon them. Ha, how can I still let fear keep me in my own wildernesses? How can I forget the times He destroyed my spiritual enemies right before my eyes? 

I want to enter the Promise Land and not let fear win the battles in my mind and of my heart. I want to look fear in the face and remind it that the Lord who crushes enemies has already won. I want to go to football games and anywhere else without fear of loneliness or fear of seeing others who have hurt me. I wish I was brave enough to just let God deal with the fear and move in the life He plans for me.

I no longer think the Israelites to be foolish, at least not anymore foolish than I am. I wish to be like Jacob and Caleb who entered the Promised Land and declared it good and that it belongs to the Lord. I long to enter into the parts of life that are potentially fearful and walk in the full knowledge that the Lord goes before me and guides my every step.