About a year ago I gave up a major roadblock in my life. At that time I wrote a post about how God deals with things when I am ready and not before that. Well, a little over a year later He revealed more to me about this same roadblock.
No, it is not back. I did not pick it back up again and I have not dwelt on it since. But yesterday as I was waking up He spoke to me about it and I was surprised by it. See, this week I saw a photo of me from last spring. I was about 20 pounds heavier than I am now, and it was a horrible reality check. Yes, I have been working on working it off, but what He revealed wasn't about that.
He told me that the reason I have a weight issue is because of what happened all those years ago. He took me back and I saw that I started to deal with my weight afterwards and it has been a struggle ever since. He showed me that I used it as a self-protection strategy. He showed me that my history of ups and downs with weight was connected to when I was allowing the past to control.
He showed me that even though my weight is going down, way slower than I would like, I need to know the reason for the struggle. It isn't because I have no will power or like food too much. It isn't about how much I exercise or not. It is about letting the past control my present. I might have given up the roadblock, but I didn't even realize I still was dealing with the mental and emotional baggage still.
So,now I know. Will the weight loss still be a struggle at times? Yes! But will it be because of the emotional self-protection based on the past? I will be placing that in His hands, and I know He will gently continue to work on freeing me. Eventually my weight, whether there are ups and downs or not, will have nothing to do with it.
Showing posts with label God at Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God at Work. Show all posts
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Do You Ever Wonder...
Do you ever go through an experience and wonder, "how is God going to use this?" I do. I wonder it a lot, especially lately.
Looking back over my life I can see so many times when something I went through has had an impact later in my life. I can see things that I went through as a kid helping me in my teaching. They were painful experiences but I see how God uses them to allow me to help my students. I can understand the pain and confusion of divorce. I can understand learning problems and the feelings of lack of self worth associated with it. I can remember the times friends didn't act like friends. I remember the times when mean girls were mean in ways that making you feel like you've been sucker punched. Unfortunately, I can also remember the times I wasn't really a friend. I can remember the times when I intentionally hurt others and the times I unintentionally did. Every time I think of one of those times I remember the hurt in my friends voice when she let me know I had hurt her. If I learned nothing else from that day I learned to choose my words more carefully.
But I don't only wonder about it with the bad things. I wonder with the seemingly unimportant times too. I wonder what good will come out of them. I wonder if they will bring about a new experience. I wonder if I will ever know what will come of it. I can think of so many things that have happened over my life that seem to have nothing come of them, yet any way.
Tonight I was sitting in church at the last class of five leadership classes. I thought, "I wonder why God had me come to these classes?" Lately, I have been getting the sense that God is going to do something new in my life. I wonder if some sort of leadership role will be part of that change.
I guess I don't think of myself as the typical leader type. I always think of leaders as outgoing. I'm more of an introvert. Usually I do tasks that are out of the limelight. I'm not saying I don't have strengths that leaders have because I do, but I wonder if they are enough. Then I remember that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me! If He is calling me to a leadership role then He will give me the strength to do it.
As I'm writing this I realize that an excitement is growing within me for what He is doing, even if I don't know what it is yet! :)
Looking back over my life I can see so many times when something I went through has had an impact later in my life. I can see things that I went through as a kid helping me in my teaching. They were painful experiences but I see how God uses them to allow me to help my students. I can understand the pain and confusion of divorce. I can understand learning problems and the feelings of lack of self worth associated with it. I can remember the times friends didn't act like friends. I remember the times when mean girls were mean in ways that making you feel like you've been sucker punched. Unfortunately, I can also remember the times I wasn't really a friend. I can remember the times when I intentionally hurt others and the times I unintentionally did. Every time I think of one of those times I remember the hurt in my friends voice when she let me know I had hurt her. If I learned nothing else from that day I learned to choose my words more carefully.
But I don't only wonder about it with the bad things. I wonder with the seemingly unimportant times too. I wonder what good will come out of them. I wonder if they will bring about a new experience. I wonder if I will ever know what will come of it. I can think of so many things that have happened over my life that seem to have nothing come of them, yet any way.
Tonight I was sitting in church at the last class of five leadership classes. I thought, "I wonder why God had me come to these classes?" Lately, I have been getting the sense that God is going to do something new in my life. I wonder if some sort of leadership role will be part of that change.
I guess I don't think of myself as the typical leader type. I always think of leaders as outgoing. I'm more of an introvert. Usually I do tasks that are out of the limelight. I'm not saying I don't have strengths that leaders have because I do, but I wonder if they are enough. Then I remember that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me! If He is calling me to a leadership role then He will give me the strength to do it.
As I'm writing this I realize that an excitement is growing within me for what He is doing, even if I don't know what it is yet! :)
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