All That He Is

I saw this post on Facebook today.

"Maybe we need to sit for just a moment or two today.Quiet, without the weight of condemnation or the swirl of trying to figure things out.Quiet, with nothing but the absolute assurance that the Spirit helps us in our weakness." Lysa TerKeurst

Seemed like very good advice so I crawled onto my bed, where I do most of my praying and quiet time, and sat. I sat and tried to turn off all the thoughts. I tried to just listen. Soon I found myself talking to God in my mind. Then I started to talk to Him aloud. It wasn't long before I was crying. I was asking Him questions.

I poured out my heart and asked him why it feels like I am always being stripped away while others around me seem to be gaining. I know that the grass always looks greener on the other side of the street. But the reality is that so many I know are having babies, celebrating new relationships, new homes, new jobs, etc. I just feel like I should be empty by now, and yet more seems to be stripped away.

After my tears were spent I picked up my Bible and hoped that the Psalm marked for today would bring some comfort to me. Psalm 42 was written by someone who has cried tears like mine. Then in verse 6 the writer wrote that when his soul is in the dumps he rehearses everything that he knows about the Lord. That seems like the most unnatural thing to do when my heart is hurting. It seems more natural to wallow in it than to turn toward God and start thinking of all He is.

I closed my Bible and laid it on the nightstand and sat. I wanted to do that. I wanted to think on all that He is. Soon a song came to mind and I was singing out "Great Is Your Faithfulness". (I'm not a great singer but I like to sing.) You know what? It worked!