Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Over Thinking Too Much, Yeah Probably Didn't Need That Too Much Part

I am a processor. I try not to respond too quickly. I try to give myself time to think things over. I tend to over think things too.

Today, I asked a question and although I was pretty sure of the answer, it still kind of bugged me. I didn't have time to think much about it at the time, but since then I have.

Now, I try not to think too much about me, to not be selfish. Yup, that is hard because I tend to be the one I think about the most. Oh, be honest, you probably do too. But, I try not to.

Yet, I have been over thinking something, and I am trying to figure out if I'm just being selfish or not. Is it selfish to feel like your voice is not being heard? I know I have said the same thing, twice, in regards to the question I asked today. I guess I hoped it would have been respected, but I don't think it was. Then I start to think the other side of it and think "should other people change something because of what I say?" I guess not, at least not all the time or anything.  ;)

Then I have to think about whether or not it is even worth it. Yes, I want to spend time deepening friendships, but if it is a way that I don't feel comfortable or even right about, is it worth it? Is it enough to just do the things with people that I truly enjoy, and not just do something that I don't really? Should I just be uncomfortable and deal with it, give it a try?

Did I mention I tend to over think things? I wonder if I am just over thinking this. I wonder if I need to just stop thinking. I wonder if I should just put up and shut up. I would love to say that I am going to stop thinking about this, but I probably won't.

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