Blessed?

If you read anything on social media: Facebook, Twitter, whatever, you will see that people are claiming to be blessed. Married = blessed. Baby = blessed. New job = blessed. New house = blessed. Family time = blessed. On vacation = blessed. And on and on. These things definitely seem like what we have come to know and call being blessed, but I wonder if those things actually equal being blessed.

I live in the United States and I have way more in material goods than most people in the world. I have a house that is fully furnished, a car, clothes, and plenty of extras. My house always has necessary projects to be done; my furniture has been bought at garage sales or given to me; my car is not as big as I want; my clothes are usually bought on sale; and many of my extras have come second-hand. I don't have the biggest or the best, but I have plenty and would fall into the blessed category. But I honestly wonder if these things are blessings or not.

I just read the first chapter of 2nd Thessalonians and it once again made me wonder what being blessed really is. Verse 3 "We ought to give thanks to for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing." That all sounds really good, and honestly makes me think they're blessed people, but then comes verses 4 and 5. "Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring. This is evidence of the righteous judgement of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering."

Um, what?

So being persecuted means being blessed? Well maybe or maybe not, but being persecuted and being steadfast and faithful; and back to verse 3, faith and love are growing abundantly is being blessed. How do I know that these things are blessings, because of this wonderful line "This is evidence of the righteous judgement of God, that you may considered worthy of the kingdom of God..." Because of the persecution they endured, and the ensuing growth of faith and love towards others they have been judged worthy of the kingdom of God. That is the ultimate evidence of being blessed.

(Side-note, did you notice the word "judge"?  That seems to be such a bad word to many Christians, these days. But He still judges and we need to be prepared to be judged.)

Back to the whole premise of this post. I would love all the things that many of us, particular American Christians, call blessed. I would love a husband to celebrate anniversaries with; babies to love on and brag about on Facebook; and all the other trappings we called blessed. Who wouldn't? More than that, I want to be blessed because I have been found worth of the kingdom of God. So often in the Scriptures we see evidence that going though trails and suffering, with faith and love results in the ultimate blessing of being worthy of the kingdom of God. That is being blessed.

Below is one of my favorite photos that I took while in Haiti. It reminds me that others live differently and that she may be more blessed than I am. Because she may has more opportunity to come through her suffering with faith and love for others.

Seeing the Beauty of Jesus

Yesterday I did something I have never done before. I went into the guest bathroom to wash out a paint brush and looked into the mirror. Normally when I look in the mirror I see flaws. The critique begins and ends in an "ugh". This time was different.

I stood there looking at myself. A small smile developed and I started to talk to myself. "I am beautiful," I told my reflection. I noticed the pretty waves in my hair and the fact that the color looks like Fall. I continued to look at my reflection and notice positive things about my appearance. Then my mirror conversation changed.

"I am beautiful on the inside because of Jesus in me." My smile grew as I told myself how even though I struggle with being selfish, proud, etc. I am beautiful because of the amazing fact that Jesus lives inside of me.

Like most of us, I focus on my negatives both inside and out. My mirror conversation was focused on the positives, most importantly the fact that Jesus lives in me. It's not that I ignored the negatives, they are still there, but they weren't important. The important thing is that I am beautiful because of Jesus in me.

I told myself that I hope that others see Him in me. I'm sure they see the negatives because we are used to seeing the negatives in ourselves and others. That lead me to think about how I see others. Do I look for their negatives first? I would have to say most of the time I do. When I look at people I want to look deeper and look to see if I see the beauty of Christ in them. I know I won't always find Him. That means that I need to pray that person comes to a place where they ask Him into their heart and let Him make them beautiful.

And for those who I see His beauty in? For them I will try harder to focus on their beauty, even when the negative is easier to see. I also will pray that He will shine out through Him even more.

I challenge you to have a mirror conversation and focus on the beauty that having Jesus in you brings out. Also to pray to see the His beauty in others and pray for those who don't have the beauty of Him them yet.

Satan Hates, but I Don't Have to Choose to Listen

Just one night after a beautiful time with Jesus, satan was on the attack. Last night, I had a very realistic nightmare. I woke up feeling emotional and it carried into my day. I cried on the way to work, and then took my class down to sit in the gym while I was supposed to be peppy for the PTA pep rally. Now, I love to have fun with my kids and even being silly with small groups, but being in a pep rally is not me. So my emotional state didn't help my already uncomfortable feelings about the pep rally.

By the second rally, yup second, I was feeling a bit more peppy, then after it was over one of mine came up to me crying. It seems he and some boys sitting behind him were messing with each other and it escalated. I ended up taking them all to the office, because they were very mean to each other and saying some very inappropriate things. Then I go back to my room, where my class was watching a weather video to be informed by another teacher of one my other student's behavior during the assembly. I had to deal with him too, but thankful his behavior was easy to deal with.

It was barely 9:30 and my emotions were raging. Thankfully I do have some of the best students in the world. They knew I was feeling off and they preceded to be totally on task, involved, and pleasant. We finally were doing some completely normal; I never was so happy to teach math in my life. The more into the normalcy of our day the more settled my emotions became.

I should have known that after my time with Jesus, satan would go on the attack. That's how he works. He tries to derail me and get my focus off of what God is doing and who He is. Thankfully God has been growing me and I am able to see the hand of the enemy sooner than before. Usually I can command him to leave me allow more quickly. Unfortunately, the nightmare was so realistic it was hard to ignore. It literally upset to the point of feeling physical pain. Now, I could let him get my off of God and let the negative feelings fester, yet as I said God has been growing me spiritually. Because of this it is easier to tune out the loud, hurtful voices of him and tune in the quiet, loving Voice of God.

I am happy to say that I know it was a dream and have enjoyed the rest of my day basking in the love of God. I choose not to let satan have anymore power of me today.

Others May Have, But Jesus Does Not Condemn Me

Last night I was laying on my bed and reflecting on who Jesus has been to me. It wasn't long before I was starting to tear up. Then a particular Bible story was brought to mind, and He showed me how an instance in my life was similar. Maybe I should say more similar in his response than in the actual instance.

The story was of the woman thrown down at the feet of Jesus for condemnation and ultimately death. She was caught in the adultery bed, and deserved, under the Law, to be stoned for it. He did not condemn her though and told her to, "Go and sin no more." Like I said, my instance was not the same, but His response was. Something happened at a gathering I was at, and I walked out. Now I'm not saying I made the right decision in that situation, but later I was "dragged" in front of this group and condemned by some. Not all. I want to stress that, it was not by all, but some.

I can't begin to say how it felt! But I can tell you what Jesus told me last night. He said that He never condemned me! Others may have, but He never did. Yes, I didn't handle it well, but I didn't deserve the verbal stones of condemnation. Under Law and Rules those stones would be required to make others feel that they have done their part of upholding the rigidness of the Law. He simply said to me, "Go and don't do it anymore." And, "I will always be with you!"

I felt the amazing love of Christ wash over me as I truly saw Him in the situation. He was quiet while the voices accused, but after they had their say, He stood up and let me know He did not accuse and He did forgive. I know I am not doing last night's experience of revelation and love justice, but I knew I needed to share.

God has shown me so much about who He is through a time in my life that honestly was more hurtful and yet healing than any other time in my life. Those who really know me know that is saying a lot. Much of that time is still between me and Him. Some of it is between a very select few and myself. There have been times I wanted to share what I learned, but God has said, "now is not the time." I'm not sure when or even if the right time will come, but I can say the time since has been amazing. I have experienced the joy of some deep wound-healing; a peace that I can't describe; and a deeper discernment. Because of that discernment, my eyes now see more clearly the pain of others that have and are experiencing poor, and even unjust treatment. I also have seen more clearly the Truth and the lies that wish to distort the Truth. Most importantly, I have come to see the Real Jesus. The One who loves me, but doesn't just look passed my selfishness, my lack of focus on Him, and my thoughtlessness. He loves me, will always be with me, and expects me to take what He has taught me to help others. That is the true reason I learn from our hurts, mistakes, and failures. It isn't just about me, but about allowing Him shine through the my hurts and healings.

Peter, John, and even Judas Wouldn't Follow Jesus!

Do you ever wonder what the disciples would think of the Jesus we have created? I do. Honestly, I doubt they would have been drawn to any Jesus we have created. Even if they were drawn to our Jesus I don't think they would have remained followers. What do I mean?

Well there's Hippie Jesus. Fun Jesus. Rules and Regulations Jesus. Tolerant Jesus. Love Jesus. Stern Jesus. Everything Goes Jesus. As Long As It Makes You Happy Jesus. Boring Jesus. Adult Jesus. Kid Jesus. Jesus You Take Off The Shelf When You Need Something. And the one that makes me absolutely cringe is Curse Word Jesus. That's just to name a few. We, and I mean we, have created our own versions of Jesus. He changes based on denominations, political views, educational theories, ages, and group mentalities among so many ideas and beliefs. I personally have thought of Jesus based on my own perceptions and thoughts. I am sure I'm not the only one to do this. This isn't a finger-pointing post. I'm not talking about everyone else. I know I'm just as guilty as anyone else.

The disciples did have their own ideas of what Jesus was going to accomplish. They hoped He'd overthrow the Romans for one thing. They found out that wasn't the kind of kingdom He was talking about, but they stayed with Him. Why? Not because He wasn't any of the Jesuses listed above. So who was He really? Well, I'm not going to tell you, but I will tell you how to find out.

Read about Him. Matthew and John knew Him personally and wrote about Him, and Mark and Luke wrote about Him from personal accounts of Him. Don't just read about Him. Talk to Him. Ask Him to show you who He really is. Listen to Him. Sit with Him and just be quiet with Him. Ask Him to show you what kind of Jesus you have created, and ask Him to replace that Jesus with the Real One. That's what I feel convicted to do. To spend time getting to know the Real Jesus. My heart feels a thrill at spend time with Him and getting to know Him for who He really is.

Will you join me on the journey of getting to know the real Him? I'd love to hear about your experience if you are willing to share. Just comment on the post if you want to share.

A Lion and the Babies Break My Heart

Back in the fall, three young men tortured a llama eventually cutting the poor thing in half. Recently a dentist hunted down a protected lion and killed it. You can barely watch TV or view Facebook without seeing a story about animal cruelty. Planned Parenthood has recently been exposed, via hidden camera investigations, for profiting from aborted baby parts. Years ago the process of abortion was explained to me in great detail and it still horrifies me. I once had a student who had started to fall from a tree (I believe) and grabbed power lines. He lost parts of his fingers and suffered from being electrocuted. Recently a young man, whose sibling I taught, was in a horrible traffic accident with numerous life threatening injuries. I refuse to watch shows or movies involving serial killers because what is depicted disgusts me. Obviously they got the ideas from some sick persons' actual deeds. I know women around the world are being tortured and mutilated in the sex trade. I see images of starving children in commercials or in that famous photo with the vulture. (By the way, the man who took that photo took his own life because he was told to leave the child. He knew what happened and couldn't live with that decision.) I hear of horrific abuse to children, usually when it's too late. When I was a teenager, maybe even a preteen, I heard in graphic detail the suffering that Jesus endured leading up to and being on the cross. Passion of the Christ comes closest to showing what it was really like.

I am not simply outraged by these things. My heart is broken for the suffering around me. Some of us are gifted with being able to visualize things to their extreme, and even then we can't know what it's really like unless we experience it. I am one of those people. It's why I can't watch certain things on TV or even read about them. It will literally keep me up at night being able to imagine the suffering and it makes me sick to my stomach.

ALL of these things, and so many more, are horrifying and outrageous. God created the animals and blessed them in Genesis 1. He told us to take care of them, and since we were made in His image, I imagine we are supposed to care for and love them the way He does. He also made man and blessed him. He has called us to love one another, to care for each other, to treat each other as Christ would treat us.

What's the point of this post? Simply, just because I am outraged over the killing of an animal does not mean I feel any less outraged over the lose of life, especially life that never got a chance here on Earth. I get why people are comparing the two and in some cases people are much more outraged over the lion than the babies, and that is wrong. But I wonder if shaming someone is the way that Christ would want us to deal with the recent news that is circulating. Don't add to the sinfulness of what surrounds us by assuming others don't care and aren't outraged just because they didn't express it as you have. My heart aches for all that is happening and the cruelty of this world is too numerous to even list, but I can't dwell there or it will consume me. I choice to lay it at His feet, weep, and ask what He expects of me.

If He tells me to go and love on a bunch of 5th graders for 180 days then that is what I must do. If He tells me to care for animals and find them loving homes then that is what I must do. If He calls me to go and serve the homeless then that is what I must do. If He calls me to go far away and help rescue those oppressed then that is what I must do. If He calls me to minister to people in prison then that is what I must do. He calls each of us differently and pricks our hearts with different needs to what is around us and needs to be cared for. My calling is no less and no greater than anyone else's. Think about that before you wonder why others don't feel as deeply as you do about a situation, a suffering, a sin. He calls us all differently so that all who suffer can be comforted; so that all who are lost can be found. But we have to listen to the call and obey, and know He has called someone else to the many other needs.

The Silence Evil

Last night I had a dream. At first I thought it was a bad dream, and I tried to pray it away. That only lasted a few seconds until I realized it was a spiritual dream. I want to share the dream and what it means. Be warned, it might cause you to think.

The dream began with a gathering at a lake house. It was a gathering of people, some who knew each other and others who were being introduced. I think it was two families coming together. There was a young woman, who never appeared in my dream, but they referenced her a lot. They talked for quite a long time, and people began to move about the house.

A young man entered the kitchen. It had a window over the sink that looked out to the screened-in room and beyond to the lake. About seven people still sat in the screened-in room. Others were in various rooms, but I no longer saw them. Suddenly a man entered the house.

This man was young, probably early twenties, and he was Evil. I don't mean evil was a character trait of his, but he was Evil itself. He came to kill the young woman who was mentioned but never seen in my dream. Everyone was terrified of him and they sat there in fear. He threatened them with harm if they didn't reveal where the woman was. Still no one spoke.

The only one who said anything was the young man who was in the kitchen. He told the other man that he would take on the full harm he intended as long as he left the others alone. Evil said, "do you understand that it will be awful? It will be a lot as I plan to inflict a lot of pain on them."

The young man stood tall and said, "yes."

Evil then shot the young man multiple times. He fell onto a braided rug and lay there bleeding. Unfortunately for him he was not dead, but lay there bleeding seeing what happened next. Or more accurately he heard what happened next.

Evil did not keep his word. Did you expect him to? He entered the screen-in room and put a plastic bag over the face of one of the women. He pulled the bag back and she began to suffocate. The others on the porch just sat there. They said nothing. The man then dragged another woman out into the lake and drowned her. He killed each of the people on that porch in a different way, and no one said or did anything to make him stop.

As he killed them I flashed back to seeing the man laying on the kitchen floor. A white, pure white dog came in, curled up and snuggled up next to the young man. Even as he lay there in the midst of the young man's blood, the dog remained pure white.

As Evil was stabbing another man I woke up. As I said before the first thing I did was pray, but even though the dream was horrifying I wasn't scared. I don't handle scary things well. I am not one to watch scary movies, and I refuse to watch anything with serial killers. But this dream, that should have had my heart pounding, did not have that effect on me. Instead, as I said before, it was a spiritual dream, one that showed me something.

I believe that Evil entered the house of people gathering to meet each other because of an upcoming wedding. Some of them were related or friends of the groom. I believe he was the young man in the kitchen. He was a symbol of Christ. He was willing to take on the pain and death of all the others to save them. The young woman that I didn't see I believe is the Bride. Many believe that all Christians are the Bride, but I believe the Bride is a set apart group of believers. No one knows who they are, and I am believe that is why I didn't see her.

Who are the others. I believe they are Christians and non-Christians. As I already stated, the man who burst in was Evil or satan. He knew the deal he made with Christ, but he broke that promise and killed the others. The dog I believe was a symbol of the sacrifice Christ made for us. The blood spilled did not change His purity.

Why is this post called The Silence Evil? Because the evil in this dream wasn't just the man who lied and killed others. The evil was the silence of those who sat there and let it happen. While I dreamed I kept thinking, "why don't they say anything? Why don't they just rush him and stop him from killing them?" God spoke to me and told me that we, Christians, need to stop being silent. We sit by and watch satan damage, destroy, and  kill, and we say and do little or nothing about it. We need to come together and fight satan in the ways we have been provided to. We need to pray. We need to speak truth, in love. We need to not tolerate people, but love them and not tolerate the sin. Jesus loved the woman they dragged before him and asked if she should be stoned for her sin. But He also told her to go and sin no more.

People love to pull out "judge not least ye be judged" but the Bible also tells us how to deal with a brother (or sister) who has sinned. Confronting the sin is not being judgmental, rather it's life-giving, restoration-bringing. True we aren't called to be the Pharisees who brought the adulterous woman to be stoned. They weren't even judging her, but rather condemning her to die for the sin she committed. We are to be like Christ, who loved her, but told her, "go and sin no more."

Our silence is allowing evil to spread, destroy, and kill. Our silence is evil!