Wow! It has been a long time since I have posted. I said before I post when I think God lays something on my heart to say. So I've been feeling it. Can I just say that I love the God stirring I get in my gut. Sometimes I don't really like what the stirring is about, because it makes me step out, step up, or give up. But ultimately I love His stirring in me!
A few months ago I felt God wanted me to step out in a way that I'm not at all comfortable with or even qualified for. I decided God was calling me to lead a group through church. I felt God was calling me to lead a certain type of group. Soon my wonderful brother and sister-in-law were saying they would lead with me. We talked about what the group could look like and I expressed my thoughts, but the conversation moved in another direction. That is when I buried what I thought God was saying to me and I went with what they saw for our group.
Well, we started a group and it was just the three of us for quite awhile. Then while I was in Haiti, we had a Group Link and people signed up to come to groups. A couple came to ours, but all the other people who signed up never came or responded when we reached out to them. It continued on with them and us for a little longer and then we had another group link. Again, a bunch of people signed up but only one couple and a woman came. Then although our numbers increased, each time we meet some weren't there and we never all meet together. Then other things came up, like school requirements, children's baseball tournaments, and vacations and soon we were cancelling more than we were meeting.
This past weekend I had a sit down my brother and sister-in-law and they stated that they no longer wanted to lead. That said that they may have led for the wrong reasons. I thought that it would be easy to just give up too. Then I was praying and felt God tugging at my heart again. I believe that He is telling me that He wants me to step out in the way He told me to before. So I sent off an email to set up a time to talk to one of the pastors. I am a bit excited and worried about it at the same time. I don't want to focus on the "you can't do that" thoughts and I just want to focus on what He is speaking to me.