Not Feeling Very Strong and Courageous

"Be strong and courageous!" When God said these words to Joshua he was about to enter the Promised Land. So why would he need to hear those words when he was going into the Promised Land? Because it was full of giants and all sort of ites that wanted to keep the land. The whole verse is "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not fear, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9 ESV)

I have to admit that when I hear this verse it does give me strength. I mean if the God of the universe says that He will be with me wherever I go why would I ever be afraid. Well, it might have something to do with those giants and ites that are waiting for me to come into the Promised Land and they don't want to leave.

God has been taking me through my own wilderness experience and I'm on the verge of entering a Promised Land. Unfortunately, like all Promised Lands there are things to fear in it. I fear the unknown. I fear failure. I fear rejection. See, God knew that Joshua would have things to fear, that he would be afraid, so He told him not to because He would be with him. God says the same thing to me when there are things to fear, because He knows my fears and He knows the giants and ites that I will be going up against.

I keep trying to think of what I want. What I want my Promised Land to include. Of course, just because I want it to be a certain way doesn't mean that it'll turn out that way. I would love to custom order my Promised Land.
It would include a job where I get to do something creative, something that brings me happiness. (Teaching has let me be creative and has made me happy, but it is time for a change.) I can think of the things that I love to do. I love to cook and I really love to bake. Not sure that I am good enough at either of them to make a living. I love crafts and making things. The idea of doing that is very appealing to me. Lately, I have wanted to take old furniture and transform it. It would allow me to be creative. I also really like the idea of transforming something old into something new.

Of course, none of these options have the security of my present job. That is one thing I fear. I fear not the fact that I don't know what I will be doing. I fear that I might not have the financial security that I have now. Teachers don't make a lot of money, believe me, but I do have a decent paycheck that covers my bills. I have health insurance. I have retirement. The idea of walking away from those securities cause me to fear.

So I guess the question is, do I continue to stay where I am and let the fear win or do I step out into my Promised Land? Do step out into the unknown? Into a land full of giants and ites? Honestly, part of me says no, but the other part of me can't wait until I get to make that first step in.