Why can I go days, weeks, even months without feeling the loss of not having the desire of my heart met? Why does it seem to come on suddenly, and unexpectedly? Why does it grip my heart, twist, and leave me in tears?
I know just because I want something doesn't mean I will get it. I am too much of a realist to think just because I want it, it will happen. I'm not talking about not having the faith to believe He can do it. I am talking about knowing that many a man and woman have longed for something, more than anything else, and it never came to pass. Did they not believe that God could do it? I am sure many of them did, but it never happened for them. So I understand that just desring doesn't mean it will happen.
I just want to be okay with it. I want to not feel the deep ache of not having a family of my own. I want to be content with the life that God has for me. Why can't I be?
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