Her story begins with a bit of background on why she is grieving. She has a husband and he has another wife. This other wife has children, both sons and daughters. She is not a very nice woman, at least not towards Hannah. She ridicules Hannah because of her lack. Hannah felt all alone. She lived with a nasty other wife and her many children. Her husband even says to her, "Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?" He so doesn't get it!
The family travels each year to Shiloh where they make sacrifices to the Lord. Hannah is grieving and goes to the temple to pray. She cries and pours out her heart to the Lord. But she is silent. I understand that. I think that many people overlook that part of the story. Of course, it plays into the part with Eli that is upcoming, but I think it is ignored by many. She has no one to talk to. She lives out her pain in silence. This doesn't change when she goes into the temple to cry out her heart to God. Her silence is misunderstood.
Eli sees her crying and jumps to a conclusion. He sees a woman crying bitterly and mouthing words and assumes that she is drunk. He condemns her and tells her to stop drinking. He didn't ask Hannah any questions. He didn't try to find out what she is upset about. He just jumps to a conclusion and assumes that she has come into the temple drunk.
Hannah tells him that she isn't drunk. She tells him that she hasn't had any strong drink, but rather she is pouring out her troubled heart to the Lord. He then tells her to go in peace and may the Lord grant her petition.
Hannah ends up having a son, Samuel, as I mentioned, the one who anoints King David of Israel.
I know Hannah's desire of her heart. I completely understand it! I also understand that she feels alone. No one seems to understand her. Her own husband doesn't get her longing. His other wife treats her with disdain. She is silent. No one understands her, so she has no reason to talk about it. The only one who truly understand her heart is the Lord. She pours out her heart to Him, but she doesn't even use words. At least not in the temple. She may cry out to Him with words other places, alone, but not in front of others.
When others are around I am silent. So many have no idea, they can't comprehend what I feel, how I long for my heart's desire. They don't get it! Since they don't I just keep it to myself. I think some are tired of hearing about it.I wonder if Hannah's husband was tired of her crying and not eating over it. I wonder if she ever was caught with tears on her cheeks by the other wife. I wonder if she told her to just get over, to just accept it, to just stop it. Thankfully no one ridicules me because of it. I don't have a spouse so no one who can't understand why I'm not just happy with just having him.
That is part of the problem right there, the no husband part. Someone told me that a friend of ours just assumed I was strong and didn't want one. Wrong on both accounts. I feel no strength and I do want a husband, my husband. People can understand when a married woman can't have children and wants them. They however don't understand that I long for one just as much as a single woman as a married woman would. It is acceptable for her to long and cry and want. It just doesn't seem acceptable for me to have those same longing. I have been told I have chosen this. I have chosen no husband, no children. Well, it's true I haven't chosen to just marry any guy who walks on by, but I would chose to be married now if God had brought him into my life. That's like telling Hannah she chose to not have children, when the truth was that God had not planned for her to have any before Samuel. She needed to be willing to turn him back over to God, to serve God, so he would be prepared to become the prophet Samuel.
Interesting thought just popped in my head. Do I need to be prepared to give my husband back to God? My child? Is that why I don't have them in my life? Am I still being prepared? I don't know. But sometimes I wish an Eli would walk into my life and say, "go in peace; and may the God of Israel grant your petition that you have asked of Him." And that God will!
Rambling, long post that originally was going to be about Eli. I have that idea stirring in me still, but knew this was to take a different path as I began to type. :)
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1 comment:
Thank you
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