I've been told I'm stand-offish, stuck up, and snobbish. I've been told I'm insightful, a good listener, and that I only speak when I have something important to say. I've been told I'm quiet. Too quiet!
For those who really know me, I've been told I ramble, as my Mom once said, I talk in run-on sentences. I run on and on and on. My report cards often said, "talks too much". That of course was back in the day when teachers were honest and didn't have to be sensitive.
So when did it change? When did I go from talking too much to not talking enough? Why did I go from chatterbox to shut up tight? Why didn't I find some happy medium? Why do I always think of something to say afterwards? Why wasn't I able to come up with the words to tell someone how I felt? Why did I let silence build walls between friends and some people I truly care for?
I don't know the answers, maybe I never will. But I have heard God speaking to me for the last couple of years and he's been saying that I have something to say, that He has something He wants spoken through me. So now the important work begins. I can't speak what He wants me to unless I listen to what He says. I need to delve deeper into God. I need to spend more time with Him. I need to be obedient, and not let the fear take control, and speak when He tells me to.
So, I guess I'm letting you know, don't be surprised if I start speaking more and soon. Because I have something to say!