Saturday, March 3, 2012


I hate it! I really, really hate it! Yet, in all honesty, that is where I live much of the time. The only thing I am truly certain of is that God is with me ALWAYS!

This week I learned that my Kenya trip was cancelled. It was cancelled for good reasons that I truly agree with, but it doesn't change the fact that I am very disappointed and now uncertain about what to do. I could go on another missions trip to Haiti. The August one would work with my school schedule. I could transfer my deposit and the money I have raised so far to do that. I'm just so uncertain.

I wrote and submitted a proposal to create a position in my school district. It might get totally shot down, but I saw a need and have a passion so I went ahead and made the proposal. If it actually happens it would change my schedule. More uncertainty.

I found out the campus I was attending for church has to close and that made me very sad. I understand the decision, but it'll be strange to return to the main campus. Things have changed since I last went there. Not necessarily with the church but more so with me, so I am uncertain about this Sunday.

I have been going to the main campus at 9:00 to pray and then driving over to the other campus for service. So now I am wondering do I continue to do prayer at 9:00 and service at 11:00 or do I do service at 9:00 and prayer at 11:00?

The Seekers group hasn't started yet, and I am very uncertain that I am the right person for this task. I am uncertain of how people will interact with each other, with me. I am uncertain if they will be people who want to know God or if they are people who want to have proof of God. I am uncertain of how I will be able to even share with them the One who I can't imagine living without.

I decided yesterday that I need to find a way to show my students more love. Now I need to figure out the best way to do that. Do I do something for them? Do I give them something? Do I simply write them little notes of encouragement? Uncertain how to show them more love.

Then there are the simple choices of life that I am uncertain about. It's my first Spring in my house and I see flowers coming up and I have purchased some to plant. I am uncertain about where to plant what I have bought. I don't want to plant anything where there are already plants that are going to come up as Spring continues. (Yes, I know it isn't really Spring, but it has been Spring here in NC for a few weeks now.) Where do I put items in my home? What should I add to the quilt I have been making for a couple of years now. I have been creating as I go along rather than have a plan. That may seem strange but it is how I wanted to do it when I started it. I am uncertain about what to add next.

I made a promise to God to leave a certain situation alone. At times I have wanted to poke myself back into it. I love the person involved, but have promised God to be quiet and let Him. I am uncertain that this person knows how much I care.

Uncertain! Please pray for me! Please don't pray that I would be certain, that isn't what I ask for. Please pray for wisdom. His Word says He gives it to those who ask. Please pray for listening spiritual ears to hear His Voice and a desire to obey even when it feels even more uncertain than it already does.

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