"I felt so insignificant." Those are the first words of chapter 1 of What Happens When Women Walk in Faith. How many times have I felt insignificant? Too many to count. Kind of experiencing that right now, have been for awhile now actually. But I know in my head that is just a lie of Satan. Now just to get my heart to start realizing it.
Well, back to the chapter. There are subsections in the chapters and I guess to do it justice I have to spend some time on the ones that stick out. The chapters aren't long, but I think some may take me awhile to write about. The one I want to focus on now is God Will Fill in the Gaps. How will God use me? When will God use me? I know He will, He birthed the dream in me. But how and when can become an obsession of my thoughts. But He takes all of us through the waiting period. As Lysa put it "I experienced a waiting period, a time of growth, development, and perseverance as God prepared me. Lessons on patience, trust, surrender, and learning to take hold all preceded my stepping out."
Oh these times, this time, is hard to go through. It feels hopeless and endless. I start to wonder if God ever spoke to me. If I heard Him correctly, or just heard what I wanted to hear. Unfortunately I'm a thinker and these thoughts take up too much of my time. But Lysa continues "But even in this seemingly unimportant time of pruning and trials, God was preparing me for the next step. This "getting ready period" was not a waste of time It was an important part of fulfilling my calling. Though I couldn't see much fruit, God was getting my branches ready and healthy enough to hold all He knew was coming."
Can I get an Amen!? This is exactly what I need to hear, need to remember! It is not a waste of time, it is so very important. Like I tell me students "if it's easy you haven't learned anything. You've just reviewed what you already know." So this time is a learning time and I will be wiser, spiritually wiser, from going through this time and learning from it.
So when Satan whispers to me, and he will, that I'm not good enough. That God doesn't speak to me. That He doesn't really care about me. Unfortunately, I will listen and start to doubt but I need to remember that God is preparing me and leading me to all He has promised!
Next time Surrendering Inadequacy. Oh it's only a page long, but it's so very important! :D