Deep in the death phase of What Happens When Women Walk in Faith and feeling like I'm dying for real! No one ever said that this life would be easy or that it would even make sense. Not even really sure what is going on, but I'm a bit of an emotional basket case right now. I believe it is something breaking, dying, something that needs to be dealt with by God so I can move deeper in Him. Enough of that on to the chapter!
I love Spring! I love looking at the buds on trees each day and watch them unfold and grow. I love the smell of dirt when things are being planted. Every Spring I think about seeds and the growth that comes from them. Lysa takes about seeds in this unit. Seeds get planted into the earth. They need water and then they will break open, die, and start to grow into something new. I feel like the seed, cracking open, dying from the seed stage and becoming a, hopefully, beautiful plant, maybe even a flower. I love the way Lysa puts it, "who would have thought that a glorious plant could come from a tiny seed in a dark place?" Life can grow even in a dark place, a death place.
If I truly want more of God, if I truly want Him to heal the broken parts, to tear down the walls, to bring forth life in me, then I have to realize He is going to crack some things, changing them from seeds, to something alive and able to bloom. I will not say I enjoy it, but I don't want temporary happiness I want true joy that comes from Him.
This next section of the chapter is good for me, I will probably need to reread it often. It's called "Being Broken is Not Being Sidelined". I know I confuse this all the time. Lysa writes some of the questions I ask myself all the time, like "why would God plant a vision in my heart and then let it turns out like this?" Um, wait I think I asked that today, last night, and even the day before that. Why did I ask it? Because it seems to be dead and my emotions are on high right now. But I cannot rely on my feelings. My feelings start telling me negative things, bad things, ugly things, and those cannot be from God. He doesn't blame me, not that I don't deserve it. He doesn't say I'm worthless, because He gave His son for me to make me worthy. He doesn't say I will never change, because He is the one who changes me.
Instead of focusing on my emotions, I need to remember He is in control. He is breaking me from the seed to grow. Did you know that even if the seed cracks open away from the surface of the dirt, it will twist around and start growing up towards the light? I want to press towards the Light no matter how twisted I need to be to grow in His direction.
Lysa goes on to state that more people don't live the extraordinary life of faith because they see death as being sidelined. Think about the seed. If it stopped after cracking open and just stayed like that it would not grow. It would be worse than sidelined. I am sure many people, myself included, have gotten to the death phase, felt sidelined, and put themselves out of the life of faith. God isn't sidelining me. He is using the brokenness of the seed wall to grow me, to shine through me.
Lysa took the beatitudes and put them together in an interesting way. I will end this post with that and let you think on it.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit...the broken people.
Blessed are those who mourn...broken to the point of great weeping.
Blessed are the meek...weeping to the point of being humbled past worldly things.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness...humbled and desiring to be filled with God alone. Blessed are the merciful...filled with God and able to overflow mercy to others.
Blessed are the pure in heart...freely extending mercy and living with a "yes" heart for God.
Blessed are the peacemakers...saying yes to God and bringing His peace everywhere they go.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness...so certain in His peace that even when they face hardships, they trust and confidently walk with God no matter what."