The latest blog about Garren. http://geoffreyjanes.blogspot.com/2011/02/tuesday-february-15-700pm.html
Chapter 11 of What Happens When Women Walk in Faith by Lysa TerKeurst.
"Suddenly, my absolute belief that God was in control started to waver. I wanted to believe. I willed myself to stay strong in my belief," Lysa.
This believing phase isn't easy, it has it's share of complications, frustrations, and and doubts. That seems to go against the whole idea of believing. But if you read the Psalms it seems that David went from believing one moment and despair the next. So if David, a man after God's own heart, had trouble believing then I shouldn't be surprised when I do.
Last week was one of the most emotional ones of my life, and yet I could see the hand of God all over the place. Then one day I was on a high with the good news I heard about Garren and the works of God I was seeing. Then one of my "ittes" walked right up to me, literally, and the despair flooded over me. I was stunned! I remember thinking, "this isn't funny God!" I cried, I cried hard and the next day I felt on the verge of tears all day. But I worked my way out of the darkness of that despair by looking toward the Light.
Lysa wrote it as,"our feelings do not have to dictate our choices." I did let me emotions dictate at first but I sought God in the depths of those emotions and He pulled me out. I could have chosen to stay there. To wallow in them. But I want to live the life of victory God has for each of us and I decided letting satan have any hold in my life was not what I wanted.
God is right there with me, growing me, comforting me, speaking to me, showing me and making a way. The best thing about His way is it is so much better than I can ever dream up. It is beyond the beyond!
Please continue to pray for Garren and the Janes family.