Saturday, January 19, 2013

Why Can't I Just Trust?

In 2000 I knew that I was going to be moving on from the school where I was working and from New York. I knew when the end of the school year, June 2001, came along I would be making a major change. Now, I would be lying if I didn't say that there were times of doubt, but for the most part I just believed He was going to take care of everything.

This time is different! I know that changes are coming, and I am trying to figure out what the change is going to be. I did not do that in 2000/2001. So, why am I virtually obsessing about it now?

Is it lack of faith? It's not that I don't know He is faithful, because I know He is. He has proven that over and over again. Is it because it is so much bigger than any chnage I have experienced before? I don't know. All I do know is it makes me anxious and I don't consider myself an anxious person.

Part of me wonders why I am even writing this blog, okay all of me, but I tried to ignore the urge to write it for awhile, but the urge just got worse. So, here I am typing away about my obsessive, anxious, whirling thoughts of how I know change is coming, and I am not trusting Him. I hope that means someone will benefit from it!

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